After All…..

“A Life’s Crossroad” and “The Aftermath”, experiences that has yet to see its conclusion. The big question is “what will happen?” – to the request and to the gentleman? I know there are people waiting to see the outcome. What will it be? Some are praying for victory, some are skeptic and still others are simply not for it but I am positive something good will come off it. 

The wait is endless that kindles uncertainties and doubts. The delay ushers in different thoughts and conclusions that one will not indulge in had the process been speedy. Even the most positive person entertains qualms when faced with situation such as this. The fears and suspicions that this may not bring about good results are not farfetched when one has to wait longer than necessary.

I am hoping that the efforts I have put in together with the support from other people and sectors will not be put to naught. The perseverance to follow through all that have been done by the Gentleman himself is not a futile act but a prompt to awaken the concerned people at the top.

It has been weeks since that unforgettable day and nothing have been done yet. This may not seem important to most of us but a life-threatening episode to the Gentleman. As earlier mentioned in the previous articles, this event scarred him for the rest of his life and those that empathized with him – family and close friends. If you had a similar experience in your life, you will understand what I am talking about here. If not, you will have a difficult time grasping it. I am pretty sure though that most of us if not all landed in similar situations thus, we know the feelings. 

The feeling that the world collapsed on you, that you are drowning and do not seem to find a block of wood to cling on is something that kills the spirit to fight it. It is like you are in a pitch dark cave and cannot see anything around that you want to climb out of it and see the light. Do you even know what I am trying to picture here? I hope so. 

I know my kid (the CPA) can identify with the Gentleman, since she has gone through worst. The first time she took the CPA Board, she was in Manila. It was 8:00 in the evening when she got the maddening news and immediately called me up. She was sobbing uncontrollably and the pain transmitted to me was the worst pain I ever encountered. If you experienced pain that pulverizes your heart and not only break it to pieces. The pain that squeezes and wrings your abdominal -  that was the pain I felt that very moment. I knew she was feeling the same, the reason I felt it all. Probably, that is what mothers feel when their kids are in pain. No mom would like their kids to feel pain. If only I had wings then, I would have flown to be with her but alas, I was just human. The only thing I can do then is to let her know that whatever the result is, I still love her and I am still here for her.

She shed buckets of tears and was laden with unfathomable grief. It was a threatening event in her life – the darkest moment. I knew she did her best but probably, it was not her time. I was praying then that she will have the courage to brave it and move on and she did.

She didn’t take that as failure but a stepping stone to greater heights.. The experience made her stronger and braver. She did it again and finally here she is ….. a CPA through and through… She was made of tough stuff more than I am. UNBELIEVABLE! I thought I was strong but it seems she is stronger than I am. If I was in her shoes I could have probably given up.. but she did not. Kudos to you my dearest girl… you had it in you… 

When she made it, she wrote a note to me “mama, thanks for all the support”, her name and a caption “CPA” – that was the best note I ever got in my whole life.

The Gentleman can learn from this experience. Like my kid, failure is not the end of the world, it is just the beginning of a better one. If my kid came out a victor, you can too. I know that to this day my kid still has the scar of that experience like you do but I also know that it will be a reminder to both of you that you are where you are today because you had the guts to face it and conquer it. 

I hope that you young gentleman will learn from my daughter’s experience and overcome that hurdle in your life and be one of the great ones someday… I know you will still have to go through a lot but that will make you a stronger person and better one. 

When I was a kid I used to think about the “end of the world” and I start crying wishing I can fly high above the earth and the skies and not be affected by it. Every time I think about it I feel like drowning… and no one is saving me. I just know that the end of the world means death to all of us and there will be no earth only nothingness…. Would that not make you cry? I was just 7 then. How I wished that I can conquer it but can’t.

I was devastated and knew not where and what to do. I just cried in my sleep every night until one day, I told myself well if that be the case, why waste my time crying? So I started to enjoy my childhood. 

My point is, accept it and move on. It is not the end of the world. You still have the world at your feet to explore and find the best for you. Take this as an opportunity to find yourself. There is a better one that god has set aside for you. Believe me I experienced that. Later in your life, you will realize why this incident happened to you and you will understand why it did. 

You have done all that you can so let god do the rest. After all… we do not know god's plan for us.  

I am hoping that  we see the light soon as this will also mean changes in the Department's processes and policies.

Lesson? Do not let a failure wear you down…

My lesson?  Tulog na lang ako… hehehe